Ok so picture this. You have some sort of break through, be it the slate being wiped clean for you or you choose to go down a different path. Then you find ways to slowly, methodically, put together the life you’d like to be living. Taking your time finding a place to live, a job, surrounding yourself with people who you know are good for you (and you them.)
Then one day you wake up, and it’s all here. It’s like Christmas morning, you go leaping out of bed psyched to go to your job, pumped to share life with good friends and maybe a significant other, if you so choose, you are taking time to do things you loved. Life is good.
Then, say two or three months down the road, you wake up again. This time something’s different. Maybe you just fell into an old habit at work and you’re worried you’re not going to get a raise/promotion. Or you’re just frustrated that you did that thing again. Maybe a personal relationship is bringing up ghosts from the past that you’d thought you’d dealt with.
You immediately start to free fall. Jumping to conclusions – I’m not going to get that raise, my friend and I are doomed to repeat the same cycle over and over.
Stop. Stop right there.
Think back a few months, when you were working so diligently at putting things together brick by brick. When you were taking stock of what it is you knew you wanted and needed to have in your life. What is the difference between now and then? Well the main difference is now you have everything you were building towards then.
You know what the other huge difference is? You stopped following IT so closely, and the ego started creeping back in.
IT is a really beautiful thing a good friend explained to me once. What I call my “soft spot” – term coined by a family member years ago, she calls her IT. What it boils down to is you; the you that lives deep deep down inside, that acts as a guide or a light to follow. It’s generally something people have a hard time connecting with or living from. But really it all boils down to IT.
This has been happening to me recently and it took me awhile to figure out what was going on. Now not following IT is a broad stroke answer. There are of course triggers and things to keep up on and keep working on.
So in this rambling message the whole point here is this: At one point your work will pay off and you’ll get what you’ve been working so hard for. You’ll then eventually (if you’re a normal human) start worrying: you’ve done this now what? or oh no this is going to fall apart, or more things will come up to work on…or all of the above.
Start the process over again (sans throwing everything you worked so hard on out), keep listing to IT and keep on trucking.