Ok not really. But for those of you who don’t know me all that well I’m going to introduce you to a side of me you probably haven’t seen much of, the snarky side.
Per my last post, I really do love this time of year. However, there are a few things I don’t like…and they’re all songs.
Without further adieu here is my list of LEAST favorite Christmas songs, in a VERY particular order. (Yes I’m posting the music videos, torture yourselves.)
Warning: No offense meant to the more religious, I was born and raised a Christian, private school and all. God did bless me with an awesome sense of humor, so I’m not gonna waste it.
5. Merry Christmas with Love – Clay Akin
It’s awful, he’s tarnished my brother’s awesome name and I always liked Rubin better.
4. Mary, Did You Know? – Kenny Rogers feat. Wynonna Judd
Because, yes Mary did know. HELLO she was visited by an angel and had to tell her man “Um hey, I got knocked up by God…” (I also feel like this could be a really great episode of Maury, just saying.)
3. Absolutely ANYTHING by Josh Groban
Because I don’t care for his voice at all. If you want to know how a man should sound if he’s a professional singer go here. Also, he just reminds me of Yanni. (That’s not a good thing.)
2. Same Old Lang Syne – Dan Fogelberg
OMG it makes me want to burn my ears off. GET OVER IT! It happened back before you had a beer gut and she wised up and stopped dating a traveling musician, with a wimpy ass voice, and did what some girls do. Found a nice guy to be there daily and raise kids with. Go log into your MySpace and hit on some aging groupies…oh wait it was 1980, NVM sorry man you don’t have anywhere to turn.
And at last, my least favorite Christmas song…
1. Christmas Shoes – New Song
If I could un-write one song in the known universe of songs, it would be this song. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the key it’s in, I can’t stand the lyrics, I can’t stand the guys voice. What about this poor little boy and his dying mother the other 364 days of the year, huh? Pretty sure his mom needed health care, and they all needed food, in June as much as they do now.
Well that’s all folks, my five least favorite Christmas songs. But I won’t leave you hanging (it’s like an info-mercial).
A treat for you, to save you from all this noise, one of my ALL time favorite Christmas songs. Mostly because I want to be the music video every time I watch it.