This is another song related one. I’m finding more and more healing through music again. It was something I always leaned on as a teenager and young adult but somehow lost along the way.
I can remember when I was younger asking my Dad what kind of music he listened to in the car on the way to work or at work. He said most times he just drives and works in silence. This boggled my mind, how could you have an entire commute to work and work day with no music? What a waste!
Now as an adult, I get it. Sometimes you just need the silence, you need to take a break from as much stimulus as possible. I found when I did that however it was generally times when I was depressed, or not letting myself process things.
For me music has a way of opening up a part of me that I don’t want to deal with on most weekdays. That softer side of you that needs to think through issues in relationships, sadness from past experience or hell even happiness for a situation. But what are you denying yourself by not processing that? Yes it’s hard to be processing and working through larger things in life when you’re getting interrupted by the work day or a question from family members etc but you can’t just hide from that part of yourself either.
Anyway, this was a song that came to me a year and a half before I ended things. Honestly, it came to me on my solo trip to Kentucky when I first wrote down in one of my little notebooks on at a bar in Louisville that I didn’t think I wanted to marry him. Then I hid from that sentence, and I hid from this song or found a different kind of solace in it.
It’s also basically the theme song for my over analytical self.
Here it is – Free My Mind, by Katie Herzig
Word for word, it’s me. It got me back to centering myself, awakening myself. (Side bar: I love the word awakening, it’s so perfect and freeing and unattached yet present for everything. Also, if you haven’t read The Awakening by Kate Chopin, read it.)
Realizing I needed to free my mind, to let my mind start wandering again, to listen to the voices in me saying “this isn’t you” “there’s something else out there” it was scary to hear but the most wonderful realization once I did free my mind.
So let this be a PSA to you all, whether it be music or something else don’t let yourself be shut off from it because it’s easier or your too busy with other things in life. Do that thing that lets you feel everything, that lets you process through situations. There is a reason it’s a part of your life. We all need that thing that frees our minds, that let’s us wake up for even just a minute.