Nobody Girl and No Woman

I’ve wanted to write about these two songs for a while. I just have had a hard time finding the words.These two songs have become such a part of my definition, there’s so much truth and so much of my identity in both of them.

The first, since I was in college and realized that I could be whatever I wanted; including being nobody in a crowd. That was the most freeing realization I’ve ever had. Ever since then I’ve ached for the times when I could just be alone in a crowd. Alone in life, alone with myself letting no one or everyone notice me. It doesn’t much matter because they’ll make up their own definition of what or who I am. They’ll create their own story around me and it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with where they are in life. Then flipping that around it’s freeing to know that you’re doing just that with strangers and people you know every single day. I’m taking excerpts of lyrics apart below and sharing why they speak to me. Maybe this is kind of egotistical or weird to do and publish outwardly but I’ve felt called to do it for a while now so fuck it.  Also, obviously, this is my interpretation of the song…I’d love to know Ryan’s real motivation behind these different lines, if you’re out there let’s grab a whiskey and dissect your song.

Well, the night makes moves
And she shatters like broken glass
Better play it cool, better let it pass
Have you been screening your smokes?
And whispers in an all night bar
Better off as the fool
Than the owner of that kind of heart

[I love that lyric… because I’d rather be a fool in love then have a heart that’s too worked up trying to be something else.]

They don’t know you anyway
They don’t know you and they don’t watch you walk away
Just a nobody girl

[This is what I hit on above, the idea that I can be totally anonymous. The thought that for all the shit that I have spinning in my head and all the dramas that we build up individually in our lives thinking it’s so damn important, when you’re walking through a crowded place or down the street no one knows your story, no one is invested in it. How freeing is that? To realize that all story you’ve been so attached to is really nothing but a story.]

With a radar to the scene
When the emptiness finds you
You find all the numbers you need
Say you follow your heart
Well, honey you’re just being lost
You could follow your gut
But how much would it cost?

[Oh for fucks sake – THAT LINE that is like WHAM BAM a line I’ve needed and leaned on about 100 times. Most notably, last fall leaving my ex. I was saying and lying to myself for a long time that I was on my path and was following my heart but in reality I was hiding from my truth deep in my gut. When I finally followed my gut it “cost” me an entire life I built. It was the best expense I’ve ever made.]

They don’t know you anyway
They don’t know you
They don’t watch you walk away

You’re nobody, girl
You’re nobody, girl
You’re a nobody, girl

You’re nobody, girl
You’re nobody, girl
You’re a nobody, girl

The night plays games
And the people they come and go
Well, they trade in their pieces
For a late-night ride on your rodeo
If your horses could talk,
I wonder if they would complain
I know they’re rested and ready
They’ve been going nowhere for days

[Of course I love the line about horses…but more than just the horse talk this is similar to the above section. How long have I been ready, has my soul been ready and packed etc and my ego has been keeping us from taking off. My soul getting restless and ready to move forward yet my ego is stuck in the same place, unmoving.]

They don’t know you anyway
They don’t know you,
They don’t even mind the weight

‘Cause you’re a nobody, girl
You’re nobody, girl
You’re a nobody, girl

You’re a nobody, girl
Nobody, girl
Nobody, girl

You’re a nobody, girl
Nobody girl
You’re a nobody, girl

You’re a nobody, girl
Nobody girl
You’re a nobody, girl

You’re a nobody, girl
You’re a nobody girl
You’re nobody, girl

I left drinking on the city train
To spend some time on the road
Then one morning I woke up in LA
Caught my breath on the coast
I’ve been going through a change
I might never be sure
I’m just walking in a haze
I’m not ready to turn

[This song came to me right when I was starting to get my feet under me in building *my* life. I had just moved into my solo apartment, I had finally removed the final physical part of the last relationship. I had gone through so much change and still felt like I was in a haze of trying to figure life out, trying to figure myself out.]

No woman
No woman

Midnight driving through the bay
Going back on the road
Coming up and I wish I could stay
I’ve been sleeping alone
I’ve been going through a change
I might never be sure
I’m just walking in a haze
I’m not ready to turn

[Hitting me square in the jaw of enjoying living alone and spending my life on my terms. Makes my heart happy.]

No woman
No woman

I left drinking on the city train
To spend some time on the road

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